I liked the last Big Thief album all right I guess. Someone
anonymous was very enthusiastic about it and that enthusiasm was infectious. I
actually can’t remember my opinion of the last album out of that context but
let’s just all agree that it was fine and was probably at least one person’s
ALBUM OF THE YEAR.
Pretty Things (3)
I think this is a Metallica song from the black album. Oh,
that singing tells me I’m wrong. An elf is singing. A pretentious elf from the
roaring 20s. Someone is tripping over garbage in the background while the elf
talks about her pubis. A lot. This song has no beat, and not a lot of rhythm. Not something you’d dance to, but you
probably wouldn’t want to because if you danced you would miss all the talk
about what’s between elf thighs.
Shark Smile (5)
A bunch of instruments being played randomly. This album is
not off to a very cohesive start. Maybe all their instruments broke after the
last one and this is supposed to be a chronicle of their loss. Oh wait, a
minute in they started working and a real beat happened. The Flapper elf voice
is still kind of irritating to me but this has a nice Mazzy Star On Uppers vibe
that I’m digging. As previously noted, I am an absolute sucker for any time a
singer says “ooh” instead of an actual word. That song was pretty decent.
Capacity (2)
I hope every song on the album doesn’t start with a cacophony.
Because the first three did. I feel like Jennifer Charles was really born too
soon. No one appreciates Elysian Fields now but she’s been doing this shtick
for decades. Wait…do I have the right artist? Let me check || I just listened
to Black Acres and I’m definitely thinking of Elysian Fields. They were Big
Thief before Big Thief was Big Thief. Maybe that’s the whole point of the band
name. STRINGS! They stole from Elysian Fields, Mazzy Star, and…I’m missing
someone else. I didn’t really like most of this song. Too discordant.
Watering (0)
It doesn’t start with a mess of broken instruments! I
thought this band had a male singer too but I’m probably thinking of someone
else. I want this song to be performed by a male vocalist. Not just for an elf
break but because I think it would work better with a deeper voice. And I don’t
like the heavily distorted guitar they randomly strum every so often. This song
does that thing that ROCKERS like to do where it stumbles over itself to do a
power move every so often. The singing sounds more like howling by the end. The
last song I just didn’t like parts of. This song I didn’t like the whole thing,
which is a shame because song four is every band’s chance to shine.
Coma (6)
Strumma strumma strumma STOP what? OK, let’s get back to it.
I don’t have much to say about this song but it was probably my favorite so
far.
Great White Shark (7)
I like this one even better. I feel like the fluidity of it
(sharks live in water!) is well-suited to the wobbly elf voice. The drums
dropping out even works for me; sometimes that trick is just annoying.
Mythological Beauty (6)
They said the name of the song in the first line. Good for
them. Romeo must die. I like this song so far too. Maybe the first four songs
were there to get rid of anyone not dedicated enough to the band. Well I’m
dedicated. So dedicated that I’ll at least listen to the rest of the songs. No
guarantee that I’ll ever listen to the album again though. Ouch…she shouldn’t
screamsing like she just did. That part was annoying. But the bouncing bass
notes are fun. || These live reviews have made me realize that I really don’t
like time signature changes in pop songs. But even with the Rush impersonation I
still like this song quite a bit. Not a lot, but quite a bit. There’s a
difference. Quite a bit of difference.
Haley (7)
Yeah, this thing has really hit its stride. The singer can’t
hit notes as high as she wants so I hope she stops trying. The secret to
success is never trying to achieve anything more than what you’re already
capable of. I like the way she rushes through the line right before each held
word. “Anywayouwalkaround”. Charms me every time. I should start marking these
songs as “+” or “-“ and come up with a final score at the end. Art appreciation
is just math. I can say that because I was a docent once. I decided. I’m going
back and adding a 1-10 score to every song. Not technically live for all the
ones before this but screw you if you don’t like my hat. It’s my live review.
Mary (6)
Straight vocal intro and it’s not very good. I want it to be
Regina Spektor and I think the singer does too. It’s not. Halfway through and
she’s still trying really hard, just vocal and piano. This would probably seem
really nice if I’d never heard my musical wife Regina before. I had to skip
back a little to be sure, but a robot bird starts chirping around 3:35. It was
annoying at first but I kind of like it as the only foreign sound. I was at
peace with the Spektor impersonation by the end of this song.
Black Diamonds (7)
Kind of a bar band vibe to this which I usually hate but I
like this so far. Her voice is clear and strong and I wonder why she hasn’t
sung like this more on the album. The guitar is a little all over the place
like the player forgot what they were doing every fifth note but at least it’s
way behind the good vocals. I think I also just like the words “black” and “diamonds”
and they sound good together. Even the wispy refrain of “I could never leave
him” sounds OK in the context of the song even though it’s sung higher than she
can really hit. Oh hey…that was the last song.
The final countdown: Assuming 10 possible points per song if
this was the BEST ALBUM EVER (a title currently held by both “Honky Chateau”
and Sunset Rubdown’s “Dragonslayer”) these big thieves get a 49/100. We’ll
round up to give them six stolen Reginas out of 10.
Download links:
Rapidgator
Reginaswipe
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