The only things I knew about this album going in before writing this live review:
- A 30-second snippet of “Imagining My Man” was interesting enough to catch my ear
- Mrs. Rex pointed out that Aldous looks an awful lot like the ex-Mrs. Rex and as a result couldn’t make it through more than half of the video for “Imagining My Man”
Blend
“Hey man…” OK, sure. I’ll listen. What do you need, wispy
but also husky-voiced woman? I hope you don’t need me to remember your name,
because I keep thinking it’s “Alura” and not “Aldous”, mostly because “Aldous”
is a boy’s name. You don’t sound much like a boy, but maybe I’m just being
old-fashioned. I could do without the fake old-timey warble in your voice that
crops up sometimes. So far this feels like an intro song and not actually
something meant to stick in your head – maybe it would be good to listen to in
the background when it’s raining. Nope, I already have Portishead for that. And
like that it’s over. Didn’t do so much for me but at least I’m not mad at it
for having to listen to it.
Imagining My Man
Whoa, that’s a deeper voice! This song is apparently about a
man too. Alura’s super into dudes. Is the ultra-low voice (with some strange
slurring) supposed to be her “man voice”? I’m 90 seconds in and for the first
song and a half she’s not really winning me over no matter what her gender. Oh
god…this song is six minutes long? CHILDREN SHOUTING HEY TOGETHER HOORAY! That
part was nice but it went away pretty quickly and now I am definitely having a
harder time with the vocals, especially when she SINGS. SHE IS SINGING NOW CAN
YOU TELL BY THE WAY SHE IS SIIIIIIIINGING? I like the two-line chorus all right
but by three and a half minutes I’m pretty tuned out to the rest of it. But I
do want to listen to Regina Spektor now instead. Too bad, musical wife Regina –
I have a commitment to Aluradous for the next seven and a half songs. I was
going to say that the last two minutes of the song are just like the first four
but a fuzzy saxophone just butted in for the last minute and now there’s no
more singing. It makes me think of when a Muppet jumps into the frame and
knocks a human out of it. I hate fade-outs but this song has one.
Living The Classics
Lots of finger picking on the guitar and hey right away now
we have baby voice singing. And I think she just pronounced “disk” as “deesk”.
Wheere is thees women froooom? I just looked it up. New Zealand? I’ve heard a
lot of people from New Zealand talk and they don’t sound like this. Maybe she’s
part sheep. That’s a New Zealand stereotype, much like the one where women have
woman names and sing in the same voice all the time. She’s really breaking from
what I know about New Zealand. But I’m mostly focused on that because this song
is kind of terrible. Songs three and four on an album should be the best ones!
That’s an album rule and there she goes again breaking rules. And then it just
ends.
Party
This song is called “Party” and starts with “he took me to a
clearing…”. Is this going to be a love song, a breakup song, or a creepy forest
assault song? There’s a thumb jammed in her mouth by minute one so it could be
any of the three. Oh god. The way “I was as happy as I will ever beeeeeeee” is delivered
gets right to the base of my skull. I get that she doesn’t want to be
pigeonholed into one vocal style but so far she hasn’t really done any of them
well. This sounds like a less creative CocoRosie. I was going to compare her
unfavorably to a different female artist on every song but I forgot on the last
one. Sorry. Halfway through this song at
least some other people start singing along to even out the sharp edges of her
long eeeeeeeeeeeeee’s. That’s a nice bassoon too. Too bad it’s basically
repeating the same tricks as the fuzzy sax on song two.
I’m So Sorry
The finger picking is starting to grate on me. Oh Jesus…another
different voice. And at this point I’m pretty sure the odd pronunciations of
words are a side-effect of trying too hard to sing in weird voices. This song
is just casual finger picking (think a tired drunk guy fiddling with an
acoustic guitar as the campfire turns to coals) and low, low, low voice. HAHAHA
I think she just said someone brought her some milk. She said “it just goes
down” and then a chorus of angels repeats it in high voice. Maybe this song was
a rejected attempt to create a soundtrack for an ad campaign for milk. I don’t have
a female artist to compare her to this time because I don’t know too many women
artists who would commit something like this to an album. I feel like Hope
Sandoval could have fallen into this trap if she didn’t click with David Roback
but that’s a reach. She’s way more talented than Adorama. At least the song
forgot about itself around the same time I did.
Horizon
She sounds like PJ Harvey here, right? “Darlin’” with a
snarl over single piano chords – any second now she’s going to start rocking-
crap. Another weird voice after the PJ Harvey voice. JUST CHOOSE ONE PLEASE. I
was actually really excited about this album after the snippet that I heard but
Im looking ahead and 3 ½ more songs feels like an awful lot right now. No
drums, no guitar, no beat, nothing but weird voices, the occasional piano
chord, and a buzzing sound. There are almost parts of songs here but she can’t
commit. Maybe that’s why she was so man crazy earlier. I don’t even know what
she’s saying any more but I’m not skipping back to figure out what she’s saying
about princesses. I bet if this woman made visual art it would be a doll
missing an eye in a wedding dress with a spot of blood on it lying on one side
of a bed with the mattress missing.
What If Birds Aren’t Singing They’re Screaming
Did she get the name for this song off a 15-year-old goth’s
brand new clever T-Shirt? Hey guess what, another different voice. I’m not
going to note it from here on out because it’s a safe bet that the last two
songs will also have new voices. “I got high and…” No kidding. You don’t say. I
never would have guessed. If she hadn’t just spent six songs destroying my
faith in her intelligence I might give this a chance of being commentary on
falsely insightful observations but I’m almost sure it’s just her jotting down
stupid ideas she and her friends had while smoking weed. This song is no good.
The World Is Looking For You
Warning: This song contains lots of sustained vocal notes. I
don’t know what else to say at this point. Aside from “husky” voice this song
is indistinguishable from “I’m So Sorry”. Maybe it’s the same song and she’s
playing a trick on me. I feel like Laura Marling could have fallen into this
trap if she didn’t click with Charlie Fink but that’s a reach. Do you like what
I did there?
Swell Does The Skull
The name of this song bugs the hell out of me. What an
archaic and pretentious way to structure the phrase. Hey guess what, this song
also has no drumming. Or piano. Just that good ol’ guitar and “I don’t
waaaaaanaaaaaa be a siiiiiinnerrrrr…”. I get the sense that she really wants to
sound older and more experienced then she actually is and is overcompensating.
Oh – is that a small string section way in the background? I actually like that
effect but it’s not enough to save the song or the album for me at this point.
For no reason at all halfway through the song a light distortion filter is
applied to her voice and it sounds like misguided production tricks rather than
any kind of artistic vision. I guess you add in “with weird voices” and that’s
my review of the whole album.
Download links:
Rapidshare
You know what...don't download this album. It's terrible.
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