Richard Dawson - Peasant 2017

One of those pictures is the album cover. Basically, I grabbed a bunch of images and dragged them around until I got itchy. That doesn't mean anything now, but just keep going. That's what I had to do.

1) Herald - Right oh. I can get on board with a nice instrumental lead track. As the kids are saying, that's my jam. Annnnd oh.. Why. random horn burps. Okay, cut that shit out.

2) Ogre - Group singing with short reprieves of singing. This is more distracting than anything else. I'm having trouble even catching the lyrics because the group singing is not good. How many people do they need to make this rubbish sound? Hmm.. Okay, halfway through we're hearing something a bit better here. Stripping down the sound was a much better choice. Okay, this is the peasant sound. Wow. This really turned into a pleasant sound. The Sun is dying. Whahhh, I don't know about that falsetto-ish voice. It's almost like he's trying to get to falsetto, but can't quite pull it off. Overall - I like this song enough that I want to listen to it again. Maybe my second listen will re-shape my ideas about the beginning of the song.

3) Soldier - The singer's voice is just shakey enough to give that authentic type of feel. Maybe his singing isn't his strength, but that makes me think that with this type of album that the writing has to be exceptional to make it worth an album. Sometimes, with writing there's the catch of a verse or song that can give the impression, but whole albums can be slapped together because an artist had one great song. The rest turns out to be rubbish and that's... well, that's when you realized you purchased an album that you only liked one song for. Thanks, Music Industry. When you really see excellence in the writing - you see it throughout. The song is just a chapter in a book. They work together in a complimentary and beautiful way. They stand alone, but the scope of the artistic piece is augmented by each other piece. Damnit, this song is ends and I haven't really written about the song. Yea, it's nice. Probably need to re-listen, but it's about the thoughts of a soldier.

4) Weaver - Hmmm this reminds me of something... Something I liked that does this better. Is it Phosphorescent? Damnit, this is going to bother me. Wait. I think it's Fire on Fire. I can't remember if that's what I'm thinking of. The way this song is playing the guitar on loose strings or something. I really want to check to see if I'm right, but there's no time for that! Onward and upward!

5) Prostitute - Damn, okay I think he should really consider giving up the falsetto attempt. It's not good. Also, I think this is about child sex trafficking and not really about prostitution. I don't have a lot to say about this song. It's meh.

6) Shapeshifter - I'm wondering what the title Peasant has to do with these song titles. When I think peasant, I think of a feudal serf. Like maybe they just think these things. I mean, an ogre, a soldier, a weaver, prostitute... then... a shapeshifter. I don't really understand what the hell is going on or why this would be built this way. I don't really have any qualms about disclosing that I can't stand Captain Beefheart (though it's been years since I've tried to listen to that rubbish), and this isn't that, but there's elements to that this reminds me of. That's not a good thing.

7) Scientist - guitar picking into a heavy handed string assortment. Yea, okay this guy has got to be thinking of "What kind of music could we make if we were peasants"? I guess he's nailing it? Which makes me think, that I don't want anything to do with peasant music. This was recommended as "Avant-Folk". For such an enticing sounding label, I want to murder this album so we can try something different to fit there.

8) Hob - I just checked. There's 4 more songs including this one. It's too much. I want to end this now, but for the sake of a full live review, I will continue. I suffer, so that you, dear reader, won't have to. This song is much the same as the previous. Except... yea, more falsetto attempts. Wow, I really hate this guy now. || Wow, I had to stop listening for a while, but came back... Still hate this. There is a very low priority on enunciation. That's not a bad thing in a lot of cases, 

9) Beggar - Apparently some music happened here. I didn't even notice it. Probably for the best.

10) No-one - This has to stop. How does this kind of thing get made. Someone thinks, "Yea, this track is necessary to the album. put it in there." "but it's just some droning noise." "just get it done."

11) Masseuse - This might be the least awful song on the album, but it's not good enough to warrant listening to the rest of the album. Maybe the strategy should have been to start here at Masseuse. Then work on the rest of the album. Similar to what an author might do. A rough draft starts, a lot of work, and then you realize after you've written thousands of words, that the story that wants to be told didn't manifest itself until tens or hundreds of hours had already been invested. 

Overall I give this album 2 stars out of a possible 15. I recommend it for someone that hasn't listened to any sounds for over a year and they are re-discovering their ability to hear.

Richard Dawson - Peasant (2017 Full Album Leak Download That's Not Richard Dawkins)

Hooray! It’s mystery time!

*non-live follow-up edit* It turns out that I listened to the songs out of order. It doesn't matter one bit what order you listen to them in though - it still sounds the same.

Herald

So far, so horny. This song is two minutes long. The next one is only a minute long. Then there’s a 10-minute song. Does that mean that the first two songs are intros? I hope so, because this one is just some poorly-played trumpet notes. I think he’s spitting in the trumpet at a few points. And I’ve played trumpet so I know what that sounds like. The end of this song is ridiculous because the trumpet spitters start “talking” to each other.

No-one

IS HE PLAYING THE SPACE PHONE? I sure hope so! 

I don’t know what else it could possibly be. And other than that it’s just moaning and whining sounds. I’m really glad this is only a minute long.

Masseuse

This was almost a song with the plucked guitar notes but then all of a sudden it got all poorly played ‘n’ stuff. Drumming! That’s catchy enough but I’m starting to think he doesn’t actually know how to play any of these instruments. Those vocals. Hmm. I certainly like things with worse vocals. This has a little Captain Beefheart to it…sort of. I think he’s sing-shouting in a fake British accent. Unless he’s British, in which case it’s a fake American accent. If I hadn’t had to endure the first two songs I’d probably be more receptive to this song but it’s not the best. His singing is just as rough as his instrument playing but I’m still intrigued. Maybe not for 10 minutes of just this one song intrigued, but still intrigued.

Murder! Yippee! The lyrics were getting intriguing but then OH MY GOD PLEASE JUST LEARN TO PLAY AT LEAST ONE INSTRUMENT PROPERLY. The drums can’t even keep a steady beat. I like Sunset Rubdown (a lot) so I can’t write this off completely yet but it’s just to the wrong side of enjoyable in pretty much every way. And his singing is truly terrible.

It just keeps going. I’m so ready for this to be over but there are three minutes left. How? A new song just started inside the old song but you know how I know it’s still the same song? Because ¾ of the guitar notes are poorly strummed and have that teeth-clenching vibrating sound happening louder than the note itself. I want someone with talent to re-record this song because I still think there’s something worth saving here. Of course, I also thought my ex-wife was worth marrying so you should absolutely not trust my assessment.

Ogre

Someone else must be playing that violin because it hasn’t messed up anything in the intro. I do like when the vocals are chanted by a chorus. And at least in this song the other voices mostly drown out his rotten voice. I need some more synonyms for “bad” because I’m going to run out really quickly. Oh no, he’s singing solo now. The drumming stopped keeping track of the song, but I think the poor guitar playing might actually be what kills the album for me. “Tie the goats to my cot…”? I think that’s what he said. It was important enough for all the other sounds to drop out of the song so he could warble his way through the line but I don’t understand it. And not in a curiously cryptic way, more in the way of throwing your head back and wailing, “WHYYYYYYYY?”.

What do you know – I actually really like the last two minutes of this song. I’m telling you, I could marry this Richard Dawkins character and turn him around into Moonface Jr AND get him believing in god.

Soldier

Back to amateur guitar hour with the start of this song. Oh hey…all the song titles are professions! Or…something. I don’t know what they are. But they’re things. And stuff. HIS SINGING SOUNDS LIKE WHEN A POOP MAKES A POOP. There are some mildly enjoyable parts here, but mostly him bi

Weaver

Someone needs to teach him about song intros. Because this “random tapping and plucking of guitar strings” thing he uses on every song isn’t working. If he could play guitar the intro after the intro would be fun though. As it is, it’s another “almost”. I wonder if this album is an experiment in putting a microphone above a random guy’s shower and turning the results into an album. HAHA he’s singing in ye olde high voice! This is another song where I find myself really enjoying the last couple of minutes once it’s built to a groove, there’s a proper beat, and he’s not singing. That last part is probably key.

Prostitute

No guitar introducing this song, just his “singing voice”. Uh oh…I think this is a ballad. In the most medieval sense of the word, minus any actual song-like qualities. Halfway through and I don’t think I can endure two more minutes of “Richard Dawson’s random thoughts”. This might be the worst song so far.

Shapeshifter

I forgot to listen to the intro to this song but I’m not going back. I only remembered to pay attention because halfway through it got kind of fun and bouncy and then a minute later someone let their toddler bang on the guitar and it killed it for me. I can hear more of the lyrics on this song than on others and…they’re not good. I think he’s just using old-timey or obscure words to sound more artistic but it doesn’t work that way. “Garment” isn’t that special of a word. It just sounds a little weird. That song built to a groove like some of the others but it wasn’t a very good one.

Scientist

INTRO REPORT: More stupid blurry string plucking. The actual song has some sing-shouting. This is what it sounds like when your bard has had enough and he’s going to tell you all about it IN SONG. I still like the choir parts, which may include children. The angry tone is just not working. I couldn’t say for sure what the tone of the other songs was but this one is definitely going for “angry”. It’s making him hit the guitar strings even harder so they vibrate more. I’m almost done with the album so it’s pretty clear that the crummy guitar playing is his thing.

Hob

What the heck is a “hob”? Not a beggar, because that’s the next song. Now I have to look this up because from what I can understand of the lyrics this might be some kind of ominous monster adventure. With a dead baby. Is it an upcoming video game? “Hob is not only beautiful to watch and play, but pure fun to play.” Probably not that. I don’t see any dead babies in the description. The song is another one that’s mostly vocals so I’m enjoying the distraction of looking up this “hob” thing. It’s probably “a household spirit in Northern England” but I’d much rather think that he’s talking about a character in Robocop 2. This song will never end. It’s so bad. So, so, so, so, so, so, bad. Or as Richard Dawson would say, “bæddel”.

Beggar

Praise the olde lorde, it’s almost over. Wow, only some of the notes in the intro are messed up. That’s a big improvement over the rest of the songs. It’s trying to hit a groove earlier too…welp, he just killed it by singing. I’m just going to put in some of the lyrics now instead of writing a review because I feel like these lyrics really do this song justice:

If you rely on the kindness of strangers

It helps to have a hound for a handmaid

Not only for the superior nose

Or companionship

Often people stop to talk with me

Having never seen before such a very beautiful snow-coloured collie

And you better bet that the “u” in “coloured” is important. Since we’re doing lyrics now, this song ends with:

And scream at the sinking stars

"Can you ever forgive me?"

Nope! I can’t!

Final rating: One and a half dead dogs out of five. I’m still going to marry him in the desperate hope that I can turn him into Spencer Krug but realistically I know we’ll get divorced within days if nothing else than because I have to listen to him talk in Olde English all the time.

Download links:

Zippyshare

iTunes

Lucy Rose - Something's Changing (2017 Full Album Leak 320 MP3 Download)

https://www.lucyrosemusic.com/

Intro

I think I heard this harp song in the bookstore at the Unitarian church I went to briefly when I was a kid. I appreciate that the intro is named “Intro”. There’s a little of a white girl soul thing happening with the vocals but considering it’s just vocals and harp I’ll wait to see if the whole album is like this.

Is This Called Home

Well, this song has a guitar too so that’s different. So far the album is moving a little slowly without making me care but I think my volume is too low. VOLUME UP! There’s definitely still some soul happening and every so often that annoying Adele thing (which is actually just a singing thing) where the sustained vocal notes “curl” briefly before bending back and ending. I don’t like that. Hey there, drums! Drums and strings and all kinds of things kick in a minute before the end and suddenly there’s a whole lot going on. Still a little overwrought but I can maybe get into this. I just need some bleak and/or depressing lyrics.

Strangest Of Ways

Maybe these will be the interesting lyrics. So far that’s been a weak spot on this album OH YUCK I HATE THE JAZZ FUSION FUNK SOUL WHATEVER. Totally killed the song for me.

Floral Dresses (featuring The Staves)

You’re losing me, Lucy. This has a reasonably classic feel to it but I’m just not feeling any real emotion. OK singing, sometimes interesting musical choices, but overall just going through the motions.

Second Chance

Very 70s soul/disco feel and that’s a bad thing. A couple stinkers in a row

Love Song

This is more what I was looking for from the whole album. Some nice crackle around the edges and while it’s nothing special it’s pleasant to listen to. Some little tugs of emotion here and there even though the song doesn’t go too deeply in any direction. It harkens back to an era of folk that I’m not necessarily in love with but it’s still pretty solid in spite of that. The ending is a little strange considering the rest of the song (the tempo doubles, among other things) but I’ll take it.

Soak It Up

Kind of feels like a rougher version of the last song, but I find myself bobbing my head along with it.

Moirai

More of what I wanted from an album like this – layers of strings and interplay between the vocals and piano. I wish I liked the lyrics better (or at all) but maybe they’ll grow on me. The second act was better than the first. Let’s see how the final act goes.

No Good At All

Eh…I’m indifferent. This is very poppy, very by-the-numbers, very throwback, very very. This feels like it should have been the second full song instead of that fusion jazz soul crap.

Find Myself

This seems OK. Which is probably my overall assessment of the album. THIS SEEMS OK. REVIEW OVER. Haha…I think she just sang something about it being OK, which completely validates my lame review. The lyrics are just so weak on this album and this song isn’t changing that opinion at all.

I Can’t Change It At All

This is a reasonable closer, but she needs to get to it. Either this song is never going to solidify or this is the longest intro ever. Well, she never really got to it.

Final rating: Three rhinestone-studded acoustic guitars out of five. About as middle-of-the-road as you can get without moving into the dreaded half-rhinestone zone.

Download links:

Mediocreload.net

Openload 

Daniel Romano - Modern Pressure (2017 Leak Full Album Download)

https://danielromanomusic.bandcamp.com/album/modern-pressure

Ugly Human Heart Pt. 1

That’s some noise, all right. Hmm. That voice. Dylan with a small breath of helium? The Chimpunks version of him? I’m going to spend the whole song thinking about why this voice sounds slightly off instead of enjoying the catchy little ditty. I like the drumming happening in my left ear. Good work on that tom. I’m kind of over the “part one” thing due to some bad recent experiences but I love the idea of continued themes/reprises so I’ll stick with it. Or just go listen to old Willie Nelson because he’s the best at that. He’s the best at everything. This song’s review turned into mostly me talking about Dylan and Willie Nelson.

Modern Pressure

Hey there, standard rock intro. His voice sounds sharper here and the guitar is sharp too. And the guitar interplay is annoying. And I hope that strange crashing sound 40 seconds in is just from the video and not the actual track. I should like the strings and horns but this song sounds a little strained. Sharp and strained and I’m missing my good friend the tom-tom from the last song. Huh. I might have to go back and listen to this again later. It’s too disjointed on first listen and I was pressured into thinking this was the second coming of Bob Dylan riding on the shoulders of Pink Floyd. You know, there’s actually a lot of Pink Floyd in this song now that I think of it. I don’t like most Pink Floyd that much.

Roya

Have we gotten to the cheese yet? All I’ve wanted since hearing this guy’s name is some cheese. And I even had cheese for breakfast. But man…I’d kill for some good romano melted on buttered toast with lots of black pepper right now. I’d kill the Pink Floyd part of the music so that I could enjoy some Romano cheese and some Romano Dylan all at the same time. This is better than the last song but I don’t like too much I’M PLAYING ELECTRIC GUITAR SO LISTEN TO ME PLAY IT PLAYFULLY guitar work and I think there’s going to be a lot of that on this album. So while this song is better than the last, for the most part it sounds totally generic rock to me.

The Pride Of Queens

I really hope this is about proud royalty and/or gay men and not Queens, NY. Because I really hate songs about New York. Most anything about New York, really. It’s why Louie and Master of None are so annoying. Well, one of the reasons. There’s some Dylan here, but I promise myself that from this point forward I won’t mention Dylan again. Because there’s not really that much. Just kind of a nasal voice and some folkier instruments. Like the electric organ. A folk electric organ. AND A STUPID DISTORTED ELECTRIC GUITAR. This whole album is feeling like early 90s rock to me, not late 60s folk. I like one of those much better than the other. Also, this song is about stupid New York.  I think I’d rather be listening to Spin Doctors.

When I Learned Your Name

Canned cheering, backwards music, and a DEELE-EE-DEEDLE-EE-DOO electric guitar intro. It’s not Spin Doctors I’m thinking of, but it will come to me. I definitely listened to this album in 1991 thanks to a friend’s Columbia House cassette membership. Does this have elements of Rod Stewart? It does. That’s not a good thing. “Maggie you grew into you”? Hand claps, too. This song is for dumb babies who are dumb.

Sucking The Old World Dry

He sure seems to be sucking the old world dry. The old world of every band Interscope and Reprise could sign that sounded like “alternative rock”. The distortion so bad it’s static is kind of a neat effect, but not neat enough to push past the completely uninspired rest of the song.

Ugly Human Heart Pt. 2

This better be good. I was super into the story and need to know how it ends. This song was pretty good, but it was really short. So altogether I have one complete song I like all right off the album so far.

Impossible Green

Have I been thinking of early 90s Tom Petty all this time? Maybe. But this song for sure. It’s OK. Mostly by comparison. These songs all have this edge to them without actually saying or doing anything edgy.

Jennifer Castle

Yeah, I’m thinking it was Petty. But none of these are “Into The Great Wide Open” or “Learning To Fly”. Although I know someone who will like this song because of the line “Jennifer, the mother of us all”. This song is pretty straightforward Americana folk-rock whatever so again by comparison we’re in a strong part of the album. Weird fade out. And now weird fade in. I thought a new song started but really it was just the ALL REVERB UNDERWATER remix of the last song, now with more clapping. What a stupid way to end a reasonable song. Complaining about “all these fake love songs” is more than a little trite.

Dancing With The Lady In The Moon

“I guess I do some heavy blinkin’” is actually an awesome line. Some of the best lyrics on the album on this song. Awkward time change and lame chorus, but at least there were a handful of lines that haven’t been rock music tropes for the last 40 years or more. Something rotten happens after the chorus and the 90s just explode all over the place but if you wade through the mess there’s a little more song scattered throughout the rest of the track.

I Tried To Hold The World (In My Mouth)

When he holds the world in his mouth, does it make him sing in a weird low voice? I guess we were due for this version of the musical history of the early 90s before the album ended. For every Flaming Lips who took psychedelia and made it their own, then did something new there were 100 more bands who just didn’t understand what they were playing with and instead of making art bought more effects pedals. The Romano Cheese man has a lot of effects pedals.

What’s To Become Of The Meaning Of Love

“Everything growing continues to grow”…as much as I want this to be a clever reference to the line in “Jennifer Castle”, I haven’t gotten any indication that this is anything other than someone who isn’t very poetic to begin with trying to come up with more words to fill an album that’s way too long for what it is (a throwback homage to an era no one loved). That said, there’s a real opportunity here for someone to write a concept album around the idea of the passage of time where everything is fixed and nothing anyone does influences that fixed four-dimensional image. This cheese-man album isn’t it though.

Final rating: One hole in the slice of Swiss out of five. Mr. Romano doesn’t even rate real Romano cheese. I can’t believe Bob Dylan talked me into listening to this album.

Download links:

Cheeseshare.ee

4shared.net

Avey Tare - Eucalyptus (2017 Full Album Leak MP3 Download) YOU WISH IT WAS ANIMAL COLLECTIVE

Season High

That’s blurry-sounding. Oh hi, sort of Animal Collective. I’ll call you Animal Coolective because it sounds like you’re at the beach with all the water and seagulls and that’s where the cool animals hang out. That went somewhere I wasn’t expecting. As in, it went to the town where someone can’t strum an acoustic guitar without hitting the wrong string every other note and WHY ARE THERE CHIMES? This song built up some promise in the first 30 seconds and completely destroyed all that promise in the next 90. I hear a monkey. There are about 500 different parts of songs here and I’d like to hear more of maybe five of them. Too bad (or too good?) none of them lasts more than a second.

Melody Unfair

Go, drum, go! Did he drop a bouncy ball on a drum? Turns out that was the best part of the song. Halfway through and all I’ve heard are mumbled spaceman echoes. Would it be so bad to have an actual beat? I want to smash that stupid acoustic guitar. He’s bad at it. Really bad. Stupid ball.

Ms. Secret

THAT GUITAR IS KEEPING A BEAT! KILL IT! This is kind of like a real song. I don’t have a lot of hope that it will stay that way. It’s doing OK so far. If the album had opened with this I would have been a lot happier. Also, if the first two songs had never happened at all. This sounds like a harsher Animal Collective. Not bad, but too much edge to it. Also also, the ending stinks.

Lunch Out Of Order, Pt. 2

I didn’t listen to Pt. 1 and miss it, did I? I don’t care. If I did, I’m glad. This is a bunch of space crickets or something stupid.

Jackson 5

Like a real song. The dulcimer is out of tune. At least this has a beat. Man, is his voice bad. I never realized how much production went into the vocals on Animal Collective albums. I really appreciate it now. The chanting in the background is nice. The first nice thing on the album. Strangely, I found myself enjoying this song. There’s still some annoying space crap, but I’m good with that if it’s part of something bigger.

DR Aw One For J

There better be some point to the annoying capitalization/spacing. More than just an excuse to play the mouth harp. Not that anyone should ever need an excuse to play a mouth harp. GO AWAY, GUITAR IN SPACE! It scared away the funny mouth harp, mommy!  I forgot this song as soon as I heard it.

PJ

WHAT IS GOING ON? There are some occasional bright spots in this album but man…there are way more terrible dark ones.

In Pieces

More rotten singing and some farting space bees. I’m finding that the songs without a beat are basically unlistenable. Someone keeps spilling a lot of dried beans.

Selection of a Place

No beat, lots of guitar picking and non-manipulated singing. What do you think my opinion is going to be? Please let this be over soon. Did you know he wants a place to stay? Because if you didn’t he says it a few thousand times in this song. The seagulls are back and they really like it.

Boat Race

I know I disliked part of the Deakin album on first listen, mostly because I was ending it with two songs that weren’t even by him but even those weren’t as terrible as this. Did he say “spite the otter”? Because you can’t do that to an otter. You otter be nice to them.

Roamer

A beat! And the vocals are messed with! I like it so far. I think that makes three songs on this album I like all right and all the rest that I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING, EVER. This song is fine though. But I will never listen to it again after this because I could just put on an Animal Collective album that I like all the way through instead.

Coral Lords

That spoken word piece was hard to listen to. It had some minor echo that made it hurt the back of my throat. And it’s really poorly-performed. I think the speaker has a cold. This is eight minutes long? I don’t even think someone on heavy drugs would enjoy this. There’s like a solid 30 seconds of static toward the end of the song that never really goes away. Maybe this album is meant to get someone off of hard drugs. I know I’m going clean after this.

Sports In July

I just watched some sports but it wasn’t in July. Avey is talking about…who knows. This is ridiculous. I don’t want to listen to the rest of this or the last song. The lyrics here are a mix of random sports-related things he heard once and half-hearted descriptions of a psychedelic drug trip. Maybe? I don’t care. I really don’t care. I hate him so much and now I’m worried I’ll hate any older Animal Collective songs that sound like him. I don’t even know why there are song

When You Left Me

breaks because they don’t seem to influence where new sounds start or stop. I want to burn all acoustic guitars because of this album. I want to burn this album because of this album. This is no Deakin. This is no anything. Even on this song there are these moments where his voice does something neat and I get my hopes up and then have them immediately dashed on the jagged rocks of total crap that he’s plopped into the musical ocean.

Final rating: Negative one space cricket out of infinity. Don’t ever listen to this album. Ever.

Not doing the stupid download links thing.