Season High
That’s blurry-sounding. Oh hi, sort of Animal Collective. I’ll
call you Animal Coolective because it sounds like you’re at the beach with all
the water and seagulls and that’s where the cool animals hang out. That went
somewhere I wasn’t expecting. As in, it went to the town where someone can’t
strum an acoustic guitar without hitting the wrong string every other note and
WHY ARE THERE CHIMES? This song built up some promise in the first 30 seconds
and completely destroyed all that promise in the next 90. I hear a monkey.
There are about 500 different parts of songs here and I’d like to hear more of
maybe five of them. Too bad (or too good?) none of them lasts more than a
second.
Melody Unfair
Go, drum, go! Did he drop a bouncy ball on a drum? Turns out
that was the best part of the song. Halfway through and all I’ve heard are
mumbled spaceman echoes. Would it be so bad to have an actual beat? I want to
smash that stupid acoustic guitar. He’s bad at it. Really bad. Stupid ball.
Ms. Secret
THAT GUITAR IS KEEPING A BEAT! KILL IT! This is kind of like
a real song. I don’t have a lot of hope that it will stay that way. It’s doing
OK so far. If the album had opened with this I would have been a lot happier.
Also, if the first two songs had never happened at all. This sounds like a
harsher Animal Collective. Not bad, but too much edge to it. Also also, the
ending stinks.
Lunch Out Of Order, Pt. 2
I didn’t listen to Pt. 1 and miss it, did I? I don’t care.
If I did, I’m glad. This is a bunch of space crickets or something stupid.
Jackson 5
Like a real song. The dulcimer is out of tune. At least this
has a beat. Man, is his voice bad. I never realized how much production went
into the vocals on Animal Collective albums. I really appreciate it now. The
chanting in the background is nice. The first nice thing on the album.
Strangely, I found myself enjoying this song. There’s still some annoying space
crap, but I’m good with that if it’s part of something bigger.
DR Aw One For J
There better be some point to the annoying
capitalization/spacing. More than just an excuse to play the mouth harp. Not
that anyone should ever need an excuse to play a mouth harp. GO AWAY, GUITAR IN
SPACE! It scared away the funny mouth harp, mommy! I forgot this song as soon as I heard it.
PJ
WHAT IS GOING ON? There are some occasional bright spots in
this album but man…there are way more terrible dark ones.
In Pieces
More rotten singing and some farting space bees. I’m finding
that the songs without a beat are basically unlistenable. Someone keeps
spilling a lot of dried beans.
Selection of a Place
No beat, lots of guitar picking and non-manipulated singing.
What do you think my opinion is going to be? Please let this be over soon. Did
you know he wants a place to stay? Because if you didn’t he says it a few
thousand times in this song. The seagulls are back and they really like it.
Boat Race
I know I disliked part of the Deakin album on first listen,
mostly because I was ending it with two songs that weren’t even by him but even
those weren’t as terrible as this. Did he say “spite the otter”? Because you
can’t do that to an otter. You otter be nice to them.
Roamer
A beat! And the vocals are messed with! I like it so far. I
think that makes three songs on this album I like all right and all the rest
that I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING, EVER. This song is fine though. But I will
never listen to it again after this because I could just put on an Animal
Collective album that I like all the way through instead.
Coral Lords
That spoken word piece was hard to listen to. It had some
minor echo that made it hurt the back of my throat. And it’s really
poorly-performed. I think the speaker has a cold. This is eight minutes long? I
don’t even think someone on heavy drugs would enjoy this. There’s like a solid
30 seconds of static toward the end of the song that never really goes away.
Maybe this album is meant to get someone off of hard drugs. I know I’m going
clean after this.
Sports In July
I just watched some sports but it wasn’t in July. Avey is
talking about…who knows. This is ridiculous. I don’t want to listen to the rest
of this or the last song. The lyrics here are a mix of random sports-related
things he heard once and half-hearted descriptions of a psychedelic drug trip.
Maybe? I don’t care. I really don’t care. I hate him so much and now I’m
worried I’ll hate any older Animal Collective songs that sound like him. I don’t
even know why there are song
When You Left Me
breaks because they don’t seem to influence where new sounds
start or stop. I want to burn all acoustic guitars because of this album. I
want to burn this album because of this album. This is no Deakin. This is no
anything. Even on this song there are these moments where his voice does
something neat and I get my hopes up and then have them immediately dashed on
the jagged rocks of total crap that he’s plopped into the musical ocean.
Final rating: Negative one space cricket out of infinity.
Don’t ever listen to this album. Ever.
Not doing the stupid download links thing.
That's pretty funny. I listened to this one a couple days ago - didn't realize this review was out there. I really wish I had known. That would have saved me the trouble and time.
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