Ugly Human Heart Pt.
1
That’s some noise, all right. Hmm. That voice. Dylan with a
small breath of helium? The Chimpunks version of him? I’m going to spend the
whole song thinking about why this voice sounds slightly off instead of
enjoying the catchy little ditty. I like the drumming happening in my left ear.
Good work on that tom. I’m kind of over the “part one” thing due to some bad
recent experiences but I love the idea of continued themes/reprises so I’ll
stick with it. Or just go listen to old Willie Nelson because he’s the best at
that. He’s the best at everything. This song’s review turned into mostly me
talking about Dylan and Willie Nelson.
Modern Pressure
Hey there, standard rock intro. His voice sounds sharper
here and the guitar is sharp too. And the guitar interplay is annoying. And I
hope that strange crashing sound 40 seconds in is just from the video and not
the actual track. I should like the strings and horns but this song sounds a
little strained. Sharp and strained and I’m missing my good friend the tom-tom
from the last song. Huh. I might have to go back and listen to this again
later. It’s too disjointed on first listen and I was pressured into thinking
this was the second coming of Bob Dylan riding on the shoulders of Pink Floyd.
You know, there’s actually a lot of Pink Floyd in this song now that I think of
it. I don’t like most Pink Floyd that much.
Roya
Have we gotten to the cheese yet? All I’ve wanted since
hearing this guy’s name is some cheese. And I even had cheese for breakfast.
But man…I’d kill for some good romano melted on buttered toast with lots of
black pepper right now. I’d kill the Pink Floyd part of the music so that I
could enjoy some Romano cheese and some Romano Dylan all at the same time. This
is better than the last song but I don’t like too much I’M PLAYING ELECTRIC
GUITAR SO LISTEN TO ME PLAY IT PLAYFULLY guitar work and I think there’s going
to be a lot of that on this album. So while this song is better than the last,
for the most part it sounds totally generic rock to me.
The Pride Of Queens
I really hope this is about proud royalty and/or gay men and
not Queens, NY. Because I really hate songs about New York. Most anything about
New York, really. It’s why Louie and Master of None are so annoying. Well, one
of the reasons. There’s some Dylan here, but I promise myself that from this
point forward I won’t mention Dylan again. Because there’s not really that
much. Just kind of a nasal voice and some folkier instruments. Like the
electric organ. A folk electric organ. AND A STUPID DISTORTED ELECTRIC GUITAR.
This whole album is feeling like early 90s rock to me, not late 60s folk. I
like one of those much better than the other. Also, this song is about stupid
New York. I think I’d rather be
listening to Spin Doctors.
When I Learned Your
Name
Canned cheering, backwards music, and a
DEELE-EE-DEEDLE-EE-DOO electric guitar intro. It’s not Spin Doctors I’m
thinking of, but it will come to me. I definitely listened to this album in 1991
thanks to a friend’s Columbia House cassette membership. Does this have
elements of Rod Stewart? It does. That’s not a good thing. “Maggie you grew
into you”? Hand claps, too. This song is for dumb babies who are dumb.
Sucking The Old World
Dry
He sure seems to be sucking the old world dry. The old world
of every band Interscope and Reprise could sign that sounded like “alternative rock”.
The distortion so bad it’s static is kind of a neat effect, but not neat enough
to push past the completely uninspired rest of the song.
Ugly Human Heart Pt.
2
This better be good. I was super into the story and need to
know how it ends. This song was pretty good, but it was really short. So
altogether I have one complete song I like all right off the album so far.
Impossible Green
Have I been thinking of early 90s Tom Petty all this time?
Maybe. But this song for sure. It’s OK. Mostly by comparison. These songs all
have this edge to them without actually saying or doing anything edgy.
Jennifer Castle
Yeah, I’m thinking it was Petty. But none of these are “Into
The Great Wide Open” or “Learning To Fly”. Although I know someone who will
like this song because of the line “Jennifer, the mother of us all”. This song
is pretty straightforward Americana folk-rock whatever so again by comparison
we’re in a strong part of the album. Weird fade out. And now weird fade in. I
thought a new song started but really it was just the ALL REVERB UNDERWATER
remix of the last song, now with more clapping. What a stupid way to end a
reasonable song. Complaining about “all these fake love songs” is more than a
little trite.
Dancing With The Lady
In The Moon
“I guess I do some heavy blinkin’” is actually an awesome
line. Some of the best lyrics on the album on this song. Awkward time change
and lame chorus, but at least there were a handful of lines that haven’t been
rock music tropes for the last 40 years or more. Something rotten happens after
the chorus and the 90s just explode all over the place but if you wade through
the mess there’s a little more song scattered throughout the rest of the track.
I Tried To Hold The
World (In My Mouth)
When he holds the world in his mouth, does it make him sing
in a weird low voice? I guess we were due for this version of the musical
history of the early 90s before the album ended. For every Flaming Lips who
took psychedelia and made it their own, then did something new there were 100
more bands who just didn’t understand what they were playing with and instead
of making art bought more effects pedals. The Romano Cheese man has a lot of
effects pedals.
What’s To Become Of
The Meaning Of Love
“Everything growing continues to grow”…as much as I want
this to be a clever reference to the line in “Jennifer Castle”, I haven’t
gotten any indication that this is anything other than someone who isn’t very
poetic to begin with trying to come up with more words to fill an album that’s
way too long for what it is (a throwback homage to an era no one loved). That
said, there’s a real opportunity here for someone to write a concept album around
the idea of the passage of time where everything is fixed and nothing anyone
does influences that fixed four-dimensional image. This cheese-man album isn’t
it though.
Final rating: One hole in the slice of Swiss out of five.
Mr. Romano doesn’t even rate real Romano cheese. I can’t believe Bob Dylan
talked me into listening to this album.
Download links:
Cheeseshare.ee
4shared.net
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