Defiant Plankton Narratives - A Very Special Mixmas Live Review (2018 Full MP3 Leak)

OK, I have to just live review this thing. No other way to do it justice. I’ve spent too much time already trying to get the album art to upload correctly so I’ll go with what I’ve got and just claim that it was poorly aligned when I got it.

Track 1

Hmm…has it started? Is my volume up loud enough? I think there’s some guitar sound. Let me turn up my volume. Great news, it’s just quiet guitar still. Five dollars says this is an instrumental track. Oh yeah – no way that snare drum doesn’t go with an instrumental rock band. I think this is the band that I had to listen to over the summer. At least it’s a reasonable opener since it builds from quiet, but boy is that drum still annoying to me. I like this part about four minutes in way better now that I’ve had four minutes to hate the drums. Oh geez...six more minutes though? Not that I can talk since Zimpel/Ziolek went about the same way. This semi-electronic sound at six minutes in is nice too. Maybe I only like the 30-second segments that start every two minutes. HAHAHA not even kidding the next part I liked started at 7:59. The next part I will like is at 10 minutes when the song is over.

Track 2

I wonder if this will be instrumental. It could go that way from the opening. It sure would be a good joke if I had to listen to nothing but 15 tracks of Public Broadcasting Service. Which I think is what this one is because I remember the annoying old British guy talking about stuff. Except for maybe he’s Scottish. I don’t care. Their drummer is a little less annoying, but the bass sounds are not as good. I’m just going to put all artsy instrumental rock acts in the same basic bucket of judgement. That bucket is filled with indifference and just a touch of annoyance.

Track 3

The strummed guitar is a nice change of pace, especially with nothing behind it. It’s slow enough and lacking enough snare drum that I’m pretty sure some vocals will have to happen. Even though I’d be happy to listen to an instrumental version of this. Do I know that voice? I think I do. Is this Beck? Was there a song like this on the Beck album? I’d never know because I wrote it off after two listens. Maybe. I can’t remember if I got that far. This is more Sea Change than what I remember if it is Beck. I remember YO DAWG PARTY BUT ALSO IN A HIP WAY. I think that was Beck. I’m not allowed to look until the end though.

Track 4

PIAAAAAANO Oh god this is that teenager girl. Why did this end up on here? OK, this particular song is pretty good but the whole album? I’ll listen to this song since I didn’t hate it but the whole time I’ll let my overall hatred fester and grow. I just listened to the lyrics to this song a little too closely. I’m trying to put my festering hatred aside but even without (most of) that I must just really not like her writing. Because I want to shake this person around and tell them they’re not as poetic as they think they are.

Track 5

MY HEADPHONES ARE TOO LOUD and there is an awful screeching sound. Boy oh boy are there a lot of sound effects so far but that screeching violin is really killing me. I’m too lazy to turn the volume down though so I’ll let it pass. The concept is fine, it’s just really not coming across well because the clickity-click fire crackling noise is popping out a little too sharply as well. I keep wincing. This song is a blast. It was definitely a closing track but the album isn’t over!

Track 6

I AM DANCING AN ISLAND DANCE! This is a wacky little number. Hey, The Magnetic Fields! I’m glad someone else picked out a song that was enjoyable out of all those terrible ones because I didn’t feel like it. I can’t even remember if I got all the way through the album. I like the slippery-sliding trombones on this song.

Track 7

Yesssssssssssssssssss. There aren’t enough esses (not changing it) in the world to applaud this song. I think this might have been my favorite song on the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah album but I didn’t like it as well for my mix. All is well now that it’s the centerpiece of this mix. I don’t have to type anything else because it’s that good a song.

Track 8

This sounds like a Beatles outtake. Or maybe a Beatles parody by Frank Zappa. Is someone singing in a high voice for the backing vocals. The song actually isn’t so bad but the high voice is cracking me up. Also they’re having an awfully hard time choosing a time signature and sticking to it. Art.

Track 9

Oh, nice. This Alt-J album really grew on me over the course of the year. It just didn’t grow tall enough to reach into “mix territory”. Poor Alt-J though…they’re going to need to do something really different but still appealing to get out from under their first album because that’s all I think when I listen to their newer ones. I do appreciate that most of last year’s album was patient and didn’t move at such a frantic rush. I’m glad this was on a mix because I felt bad about not having it on mine.

Track 10

Am I on track 10 now? I should be keeping better track (GET IT?) of what I’m listening to. OK, we’re good.

Track 10

It really feels like we’ve fully made the transition into British rock at this point in the mix. At least from the music. I’m pretty sure the actual band for this song is American. What do I know. I’m no ichthyologist. // Was there singing in this song? Now I can’t remember. I think there was. Just not right now. I wish I had a marimba. I’ve only ever gotten to play one a few times but it sure is satisfying. Oh, there are the vocals. They’re OK. Not as good as the marimba.

Track 11

Well that’s a pretty voice. Is she a little drunk though? It’s really hard to understand the vocals so let me turn the volume up a little more. What the heck – I already can’t hear anything in real life anyway. Fun fact: my whole mix was almost all maudlin female-vocal folk songs. I should’ve stuck with that concept. That song was short.

Track 12

Another amazing song and album that didn’t quite make the cut for my mix. I should have done two discs. This Benjamin Clementine album was really something else and this song was definitely my favorite on the album. Man…so good. The song is such a crazy journey and even though it has all these disparate parts it feels really cohesive.

Track 13

VOLUME IS LOUD This track is mixed crazy loud and also her voice. Is this that Riff Raff woman? She’s so angry. I think I actually like this song but I don’t like the edge to her voice. Which is probably the point, but I still have to listen to it so come on…dull the edges a bit. And there’s just one thing…do you have to use so many cuss words? Oh god…the circus just started. This is turning into Neil Gaiman’s wife’s music. Next thing I know she’ll be wearing steampunk pants and making ticking sounds while she yelps and swears. Goody…now there’s a poor-quality old-timey recording of someone talking. I think I did listen to this at least once because now there’s all the yelling “BALLANTE” or whatever. What the hell, song. This is a real contrast to the Benjamin Clementine song right before – they’re both pretty hard listens in their way and one clicks for me and one really doesn’t. It was nice to have them back-to-back though.

Track 14

See, now I don’t know if this is a new song or not. Oh wait…it’s quieter and a man singing and no one is swearing at me and/or shouting nonsense. This song would probably be nice but after the one-two punch of the last two songs I don’t know what wouldn’t feel a little weak. Is this Elton John? I can only assume it is. He’s going to need to toughen up to beat out the last songs. // GARLIC COIN HAHAHAHA // The interruption might have helped Elton out a lot. Tell me, Elton. Is it human nature? Oh, just human nature you say? Well that’s settled then. This kind of sounds like a Sesame Street song if you listen to the lyrics a certain way.

Track 15

I think this is the last song but I wish I didn’t know that. But that means it’s probably instrumental. The end is really where an instrumental song belongs. This one fits very nicely here. Yeah, this is a super rad way to close out. I need to see what this is. I bet it’s an instrumental band that I pooh-poohed earlier.

Final Rating: Three instrumental tracks out of 15. I’d rate the actual mix much higher though.

Well, that settles it. I listened to someone else’s taste in music and the only thing it did was reaffirm that I like what I like and everything else is exactly bad. I’m going to go listen to Alt-J again right now though.