Tracey Thorn - Record (2018 Full Album Leak MP3 320 Download)

Another magical musical mystery. No clue what this is. The cover looks really 80s and I hate it.

https://traceythorn.lnk.to/RecPreWE

1. Queen
• Hey man, that’s so 80s. This singer has a deep voice and they synths are crazy out of the gate. Is this a woman? I thought it was from the name and album cover but the vocals are pretty mannish. I kind of like them so far but I’m only like a minute in. Do some people really have an artistic vision that leads them to make this kind of music independent of anything derivative or any nostalgia? “I’d like to make this kind of music. Oh, it’s representative of the absolute worst type of music in all of pop history? Totally unintentional.”
2. Air
• That last song was really dated but OH GOD I CAN’T TAKE A WHOLE ALBUM OF THIS. This song is “slow adult contemporary jam, with extra synth”. Or something. It’s terrible.
3. Guitar
• What have I done to myself? I was trying to live review good or at least interesting albums so all my live reviews weren’t about trash. “Hey boy, you taught me my first song” blah blah blah tell me about your stupid affair with your music teacher or whatever is happening. My guitar teacher would snort when he got really into playing classical guitar. Took away from the overall effect a bit, unless he was really going for “sweet but snorty”. This song is better than the last but still sounds like a gay middle schooler wrote it in 1987.
4. Smoke
• What in the heck made me think I should listen to this album? It’s everything I dislike about pop music. Oh good…this one is sort of old-timey. Which just means the synths are downplayed a little and it sounds like a medieval ballad about…I don’t know.  “London you in my blood and/You've been there for so long/London you in my blood but/I feel you going wrong” Oh. It’s dumb stupid autobiographical crap. OH MY GOD That’s why I knew this name – she’s the singer for Everything But The Girl! That might make me like this less though. It’s not good at all.
5. Sister
• I stopped paying attention. This song has the big dumb synth drum hits going all the way through it and I pretty much tune that out whenever I hear it. Her voice is actually the best so far on the album though when she howls “SIIIIIIIII-IIII-SSSSTER”. OK, I take it back about the drum. I think this is my favorite song on the album. It sounds like a ghost train and at least half of it has no singing.
6. Go
• Something about the sounds in this make me feel like I’m watching someone lick their lips a lot while they talk, especially mid-word. That’s not a good association. The song is fine I guess. I definitely like this album better when it slows down.
7. Babies
• Oh no. Fast song again. This one is like a country line dance (are there other kinds of line dances?) if all the instruments were replaced by Game Boys. And I’m pretty sure she’s singing the most trite observations about babies imaginable but I’m not going to look up the lyrics because what I can hear is bad enough. If my mom wrote a song about babies it would be this. Scratch that…if any mom wrote a song about babies it would be this. Keep in mind that most moms aren’t good songwriters. Nothing against moms, it’s just that most people aren’t good songwriters and most moms are people.
8. Face
• What the…what has happened to this album? It was bad enough but now seems to be an absolute literal walk through middle age insecurities. This has a piano so it must be heartfelt, right? Heartfelt clicking on a Facebook photo and refreshing the browser and OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST THE WORST THING EVER. The rest of the song is more about playing with her Googles using the Window computer on Netscapes.
9. Dancefloor
• Farting frog synthesizers might be obnoxious, but not as much as that last song. Nothing could be that bad. Oh no…except for maybe this song. Was the whole first half of the album this uninspired and I just missed it? There’s no subtlety to the last half at all for sure.

Final Rating:

Four flatulent frogs from fifteen. I barely care about the mundane details of my own life and I sure as heck don’t care about Tracey’s.