Brontosaurus Rex - The Cretaceous

Brontosaurus Rex - The Cretaceous 2017

Yea, I didn't want to spend a lot of time looking for the album cover. I had already spent 40 or so minutes listening to this album. The cost was too high to spend another 30 seconds looking for the actual album cover. All that led to me wonder how far away are we from having a GIF as an album cover? The cost of materials continues to drop. It's a fancy version of a holograph. Maybe a small watch battery and a switch that triggers when you hold the album a certain way to connect the power supply. If CDs don't completely die to the digital age, then hold onto your butts.

--0-0-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-00--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0-0

1) Satchel : Did that just say "fuck me in the ass records"? I think so. If not, it should have because that's an amazing name for a label. I'm really confused by what's happening here. This kind of reminds me of the The Spirit of Truth - One Man Show on Youtube. Less about some higher power, unless that higher power is someone's ass.

2) How I Beat Off Shaq : Are we under water or do they just have shitty equipment? I can't tell. The beat is clear - so I assume they were trying to create this sound. But why? Seems like there's almost no confidence in what they are writing. How difficult can it be for what I assume is a debut album? There's a format if you have nothing to say. Boom Boom.

3) A.N.E. : "That Ane, that anus". So wait.. is ANE just short for anus? I can't be certain, but I think that's the maximum amount of subtlety and shorthand for this album. Upside to this song? We've established that the underwater voice is purposefully done because they aren't doing it here. So far, this song is the real message of the album. My ass is never empty. That's what I know.

4) Niggs Hustle : Well, the last song ended abruptly. I thought it would never end. But here we are now. "Niggs Hustle" is about the video game industry and the struggle of the Xbox to crack into the established duopoly between Sega and Nintendo. Maybe. I don't know - I just heard xbox early on and then I heard "Fuck your mom" both of those are linked forever since you hear that a lot on xbox.

5) King Rex : No grease. Fresh meat. Oh yea. Then... an autotuned preacher? I'm 99% sure all of these voices are done by the same person. Just different voice alterations to create the illusion of a group. I think it's just underwater screaming now. Nothing is discernable from anything else.

Unfortunately, I was interrupted for 3 Glucks and Slurpin... but I didn't care enough to want to pause the music. So, I feel like that's been the real gift of the album so far.

8) MM\PP\SS (Remix) : She mentioned "fuck me in the ass records". Wow, so good. I love that label name so much. There's as much ambiguity to that as there is in this album.

9) Cretaceous : honestly, I only heard this as background noise. There's nothing to say about this album. Why was it made? What did I hope to gain? There's no reason. There is no hope. If this is the creativity of the next generation, then we're fucked. I don't think it is because there's evidence of better things, but what if. what if this is the next step in creative output? What if I just don't get it? What if, I am my parents griping about "music today"? This album could be the one that forces me to come to face the idea that I've lost my youthful vigor for life. I'm resigned to the way things were. 

Overall, I'd give this 1 out of 19 Brontosaurs.